Lay Down Your Life
2 Traits of Christian Love
Aaron Lee | 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 | FCBCW Youth Worship | September 20, 2026
Introduction
What does Christian love look like? What does love look like in the church?
For the longest time, I’ve read John 15:13 as my definition of love: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” I read it to mean that physical death is the greatest way to love someone. That’s a great and grand idea.
But there’s a problem. The problem is what if I am not actually needing to die for someone? We’re not in a physical war here. I don’t need to die for you. How do I love without laying down my life?
Context
By the time we get to our passage today, Paul has already rebuked the church telling them what love does not look like. Namely, it does not look like boasting or seeking to be great with your spiritual gifts. Paul rebukes the church by saying that true greatness is not found in giftedness – but in love that flows from a heart that has been transformed by the gospel.
Paul shows us in our passage today two traits of Christian love:
Christians love through actions toward others
Christians love through humble heart attitudes
To be clear, these two traits coexist together. They can’t really be separated. You don’t say “Today I guess I’ll love in actions towards others” or “Today I’ll only love by having a humble heart attitude.” I will separate them for the sake of our sermon, but really they both go together.
1. Christians love through actions toward others
The first trait of Christian love is that Christians love through actions towards others:
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
Explanation
This section shows how love is what we do or in how we act towards or respond to others. So instead of just a list of traits with definitions, think about interaction with others. Love is more than an individual feeling within one’s self. True love takes action towards others.
Paul starts by pairing patience and kindness. You cannot exercise loving patience without another person. People get impatient because we think that our schedule and our time is most important. We think we must have priority over others. And patience is paired with kindness – to show mercy. It means that we are not harsh, severe, or mean towards others, especially when things don’t go our way. There’s a very outward focus here towards others.
The next pairing is not being envious and not boasting. Again, notice the outward focus on others. Love is not envious, angry about what others have, and love does not boast or brag about what one does have, thinking you’re better than others, and seeking attention from others.
The last pairing is that love is not arrogant, thinking highly of ourselves, and love is not rude, indecent and dishonoring others. Love is not proud, puffed up, inflated, and this can be seen in how we treat others. Love is more than a feeling – it is outwardly focused with our actions.
Application
So, will you love through actions towards others?
There is a way where we can lay down our lives for others, and that is by loving with our actions. I want to focus on an action I think all of us can take, and that is to be more inviting towards others. The Corinthians were not inviting towards others. They wanted the spotlight for themselves. Love doesn't ask, “How can I take for myself?” Love asks, “How can I give to others?” When we invite others, we share the stage. And as Christians, we all get to serve Jesus with the different ways God has gifted us.
Let me tell you a true story. COVID was tough for our church. We couldn’t meet in person, and we had to do sermons online. Auntie Katy Lee was our Children’s Director at the time, and she invited me to make a video for a Sunday. When we started coming back to church, Auntie Katy continued to invite me to serve with her in Children’s Worship. I believe she was doing something loving to me by inviting me to serve with her. She could have been impatient or rude about it – demanding that I do it, but she did not. She could have been boastful or arrogant, not even thinking or wanting to invite me, maybe thinking she was the best and only she could do it – but she did not. I was allowed to serve God as well as the church, while discerning and exercising my spiritual gifts, all because I was invited.
I exhort you to do the same. Invite others to serve along with you. Give others the opportunity. When you invite others in, you show that you are not selfish. You show that you want to share the stage. And when you take this outside the context of serving and using your spiritual gifts, being inviting towards others means reaching out to those who feel alone or those who are weak. It means coming alongside people and meeting them where they are, lifting them up in the Lord.
2. Christians love through humble heart attitudes
The second trait of Christian love is that Christians love through humble heart attitudes:
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. (1 Corinthians 13:5-6)
Explanation
This section shows us what is happening in the heart of a person who loves. It reveals the attitudes and desires underneath our actions. What we do toward others comes from what is happening inside of us. True love comes from a humble heart that has been changed by Christ.
Paul says that love does not insist on its own way – being selfish and stubborn. The way of love is to not think that your way is always the best way. There is a humble heart attitude that cares about the interests of others, wanting harmony and peace.
Then, love is not irritable, meaning it does not get angered easily, and it does not resent others meaning it “does not count the evil” by keeping score, holding grudges, and wanting to get even with others. Love does not keep thinking about the ways we were wronged. We do not harbor hatred in our hearts. These are things we cannot see externally, but God can see if we really have this on the inside.
Finally, love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth – wanting and holding fast to what is good. In the heart of a loving person, there is a humble attitude that says that the truth of the Lord’s good ways are what we want most, even if it hurts or is hard to accept.
Application
So, will you love through a humble heart attitude?
There is a way where we can lay down our lives for others, and that is by loving with our humble heart attitudes. I want to focus on a humble heart attitude I think all of us can take, and that is to be more engaging. The Corinthians were not engaging. They wanted the attention on themselves. Love doesn't ask, “How can I get the attention?” Love asks, “How can I give my attention?” When we engage with others, we take the attention off of ourselves and put it on others. And as Christians, we put Jesus at the center of our conversations and our interactions.
Let me tell you a true story. One of my most toxic traits is that I do not like to engage with people. I am the Social Media Officer at our church. I know what it’s like to be online, and honestly it’s a lot easier than dealing with people in real life. With my personal accounts, I can post, and I can share, and it’s just a very one way street if I want it to be. This is not the way of Christ. Our Lord lived and embodied life, meaning that he was flesh and blood, God incarnate, actually in person with us. And he sets the example for us. We are to engage with each other. We don’t just come to church and leave. It’s best if we can make space to linger, to hang out, with intentional engagement.
I exhort you to do the same. Engage with others. Take the time to talk. When you engage with others, you show that you are open. You show that you want to be an actual, integrated part of the church. And when you take this outside the context of serving and spiritual gifts, having a humble heart attitude to engage means having difficult conversations to confront sin. It means engaging to keep others close to the church, and ultimately to the Lord.
The Gospel
We can see the gospel supports this concept of love that is anchored in actions and attitudes:
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:7)
This poetic section of Scripture ultimately points us to Christ, who worked and wanted the best for others, putting up with and persevering even in the worst of circumstances. He endured the cross for the sake of sinners:
looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2)
The gospel shows us what sacrificial love ultimately looks like: Jesus giving himself for sinners. This verse in Hebrews shows us that Jesus shows us love from God (Romans 5:8), and that it was ultimately joyful for Jesus to love us this way. He did not go to the cross begrudgingly. He did not go to the cross complaining. He went willingly. He went joyfully. He went out of love.
I am the first to admit that I am not loving. Especially when compared to Jesus. But we know that this is the way he wants us to love, and we can aim for it, as Jesus himself said that the world will know we are Christians by our love for one another (John 13:35). And we have the Helper – the Holy Spirit – who pours God’s love into our hearts (Romans 5:5).
To be sure, Jesus is not merely our example of sacrificial love; he is first our Savior. And you cannot truly love or know love – because God is love (1 John 4:8) – if you are not holy, saved from your sin.
Conclusion
For the longest time, I’ve read John 15:13: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” to mean that physical death is the greatest way to love someone. That’s a great and grand idea. And it’s true. Jesus exemplified it at the cross and this was what he had in mind when he said it.
And if I am not actually needing to die for someone, then I can exemplify, model, and aim for this type of love as I lay down my life by my actions towards others and having a humble heart attitude. Sometimes it looks like giving someone an opportunity by inviting them in. Sometimes it looks like intentional engagement by giving someone your attention. I lay down my preferences. I lay down my desires. I lay down my comforts. I lay down my time. This is how I lay down my life for the sake of love. I sacrifice myself for the sake of Christ.
We're not in a physical war where we have to physically lay down our lives. But we are in a spiritual war, and one of the ways we fight is by laying down our lives in love. It’s how Christ won the war for us, by his death and resurrection. And until we reach our heavenly home, we fight the battle of faith by becoming people who love like our King. And when we learn to love like Jesus, to sacrifice like our Savior, not only are we doing good to others, but we are also worshiping God:
12 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. (Romans 12:1)
Big Idea
Christians love like Jesus by laying down their lives for others.
There Is No Greater Love
There is no greater love
Than that of Jesus Christ
The Son of God went to the cross
And rose to give new life
With his outward actions
Our Savior never sinned
His hands, his feet, his thoughts, his speech
Were loving, without end
And with his humble heart
Our savior gave himself
Sought not his own, he overflowed
In loving, without fail
There is no greater love
Than that of Jesus Christ
The Son of God went to the cross
And rose to give new life
References
A Call to Love — and to Death by John Piper
The ESV Expository Commentary by Crossway
The ESV Study Bible by Crossway
The Gospel Coalition Bible Commentary on 1 Corinthians by Eric C. Redmond
Discussion Questions
Who is one person you can be more inviting towards?
Who is one person you can engage with at church?