Becoming a Friendlier Church
In Becoming a Friendlier Church, Matthew D. Kim provides a pathway to genuine community. Kim tackles a problem that affects church attendance, membership, and witness—diagnosing problems and providing specific solutions.
Kim defines “friendly” in a church context: a friendly church is a congregation in which members and regular attenders intentionally seek out church guests and are trained to welcome them and disciple them while finding a sense of belonging and Christian community.
Insularity
The first problem Kim presents is insularity, addressing one of my most frequently heard accusations against a church—cliques. Kim shows how cliques are formed by family systems in a church that create unhealthy family dynamics, bounded sets (think high school cliques of bands and sports), economic cliques, generational cliques, and ethnic cliques. Signs, insider speech, and acronyms are also areas that create insularity.
The answer Kim provides is communication. He points us to Jesus, who engaged, took initiative, and asked questions. Churches can improve their communication by examining verbal and nonverbal patterns of communication, equipping the greeting ministry, and fostering open communication between groups. This book is intensely practical, and I was convicted to be intentional with my conversations.
Busyness
Another chapter that resonated with me was on busyness. Kim profoundly shows how our busyness for material gain gets in the way of our friendliness. Kim acknowledges his own family and their busyness with coordinating sports activities among three sons, saying that time to serve God and people can get squeezed out when life is filled with ultimately earthly and idolatrous things.
The solution to busyness is intentionality. When we seek to address others with dignity and respect, we become more friendly. What I also appreciate about this book is that Kim does not hide his Asian ethnicity. He weaves it into examples and illustrations. When it comes to busyness, he reminds readers to prepare congregations to intentionally embrace visible minorities.
Prejudice
Chapter 5 is all about the problem of prejudice, with common targets being women, ethnic minorities, sexual minorities, and people with disabilities. What I was most moved by was seeing how especially pastors and church leaders can be prejudiced toward the “potential-less” for ministry—those who at first glance lack ministry or service potential.
The solution is celebration—much like how the father celebrates the prodigal son, going after wayward sheep, and finding a lost coin—to make people feel special, wanted, appreciated, and valued.
Friend of Sinners
It would be prudent for pastoral staff and ministry leaders to go over this much needed book together, along with the included discussion questions and prayer points. After reading Becoming a Friendlier Church, I am challenged to show what Christian community and hospitality is like—to give people a home and a sense of belonging—and to be like Christ, who calls us his friends.
I received a media copy of Becoming a Friendlier Church (Amazon) and this is my honest review. Find more of my book reviews and follow Dive In, Dig Deep on Instagram - my account dedicated to Bibles and books to see the beauty of the Bible and the role of reading in the Christian life. To read all of my book reviews and to receive all of the free eBooks I find on the web, subscribe to my free newsletter.