How We Love and How We Live
Two Ways Christians Witness to the World
Aaron Lee | 1 Thessalonians 4:9-12 | FCBCW Youth Worship | July 19, 2026
Introduction
How can you tell that someone is a Christian? In so many ways, our clothes, what we put on, identifies us with who we are. Athletes dress a certain way. Artists dress a certain way. Accountants dress a certain way. It’s how we represent ourselves to the world.
When I was young, there were many ways to identify someone as a Christian. Christian tee shirts. WWJD bracelets. Christian jewelry. Can you tell that someone is a Christian by what they wear?
Context
In our passage today, the apostle Paul talks about our Christian walk. The Christian walk is your journey with Jesus. We should watch the way we walk because this is our Christian witness. The outside world is watching us:
12 so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. (1 Thessalonians 4:12)
There is a proper, fitting, right, way to walk as a Christian. The two ways we walk and witness to the world are how we love and how we live. We’re going to explore and explain what this means exactly – so that our lives can be a pleasing act of worship to God.
I’m going to give you specific challenges to apply this sermon, and it’s going to relate to two big issues I see in our world today: loneliness and laziness. This is also going to be my last sermon before the next school year begins, and I want you to consider what you will wear on the first day of school.
1. How we love
The first way we witness to the world is by how we love:
9 Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, 10 for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, (1 Thessalonians 4:9-10)
Explanation
Christians love one another with familial, supernatural, and abounding affection. Notice how Paul describes this love:
To begin, we see that it is brotherly love, and it was shared throughout Macedonia with all the brothers. It’s the love that we share for our brothers and sisters in Christ. And the reason we can show love as brothers, the reason we can show love as brothers and sisters, is because we have been adopted in the same family of God. We are connected by the blood of Christ. The family of God is filled with very different people. The Thessalonians were a mixed bag of people with very different financial statuses, rich and poor. We see that in the church as well, but in your context it might be different friend groups or different extracurriculars or different GPAs or different ways you dress. When outsiders look at us and the way we love, they should be able to say wow I can’t believe that these very different people are acting more like friends – they’re acting like family.
Next, we see that this brotherly love is taught by God. This means that it is taught in and learned from God’s Word, but it also means that it is a supernatural love that comes through the Holy Spirit. You cannot love the way that God wants you to love – in fact you cannot love in a way that God accepts – apart from Jesus Christ. He writes his love on our hearts. When outsiders look at our love for each other, they should be able to say that it makes no sense on a human level. There’s no reason why or how these people can possibly love each other.
Finally, we see that this brotherly love that we learn from God is urged to be done more and more – it is to be increasing and abounding and overflowing. Our love for each other should be growing. When outsiders look at our love for each other, they should not see something stagnant or stale or superficial – but it should be growing and deepening and even inviting others to come and join.
Paul makes brotherly, supernatural, abounding love more concrete in his letter to the Ephesians, and this is how I want to challenge you to apply this sermon:
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2)
Application
So, will you love like Jesus?
A life of sacrificial love, giving yourself up for others, is living a life of worship to God. It’s a costly love – it costs you something. You have to spend yourself to love in this way, and I want to highlight that we should be going out of our way to love people – and our passage is specifically talking about the way we love God’s people in the church.
While the world wrestles with loneliness, the church can be a refuge. The cure for loneliness is not found in playing online games with others, or chatting with AI, or escaping into entertainment and an endless scroll. The cure for loneliness is Jesus Christ, and one of God's primary answers to loneliness is found in loving Christian community. This type of love gets into the messy lives of others, it risks making yourself vulnerable and honest, and it cares to the point of putting the needs of others above yourself.
This means showing up to church even when you don’t feel like it because you want to be there for each other. It means sharing in your small group even if you’re tired or maybe even scared to open yourself up. It means volunteering to pray even when you don’t know what to say. For those who are going to college, it means finding a church and committing to it. For those of us back at home, it means to keep coming out even after the summer season.
It also means not forsaking your friends. To love like Jesus directly means forgiving each other. Passing over sin or looking over offenses. It means to reconcile relationships. Friends forgive each other. We don’t burn bridges.
Let me give you an illustration and example from my own life. My family went on vacation last week. We were all crammed in the car together. I lost my temper with one of my kids. I love my kids, but they can sometimes upset me. I had to ask my daughter to forgive me. And she was so loving and kind to forgive. Here at church, we’re stuck together. Sometimes we fight. But we’re family. We make things right. It takes honesty and vulnerability. But it is worth it. The world is watching.
2. How we live
While our first point showed how to love within the church, our second point shows how we should behave before outsiders. The second way we witness to the world is by how we live:
11 and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, (1 Thessalonians 4:11)
Explanation
The Christian lives an obedient and respected life, lived faithfully and responsibly with purpose. Note the ways Paul pushes us to watch the way we live. These are aspirations, ambitions that we can aim toward:
To begin, he tells us to live quietly – meaning to live peaceably. To not go about bothering or being a burden or be unnecessarily disturbing to others. I mentioned earlier how there were huge disparity gaps between the rich and the poor in the Thessalonian church, and part of the reason for this is that some people had apparently stopped working. This might be because they believed Christ was coming soon or maybe because some were straight up taking advantage of wealthier Christians. You can see this as Paul starts to emphasize work in this section, and it’s clear that although we wait for Christ’s return, that does not mean we stop working. And it definitely does not mean we should depend on the generosity of others. Paul says don’t cause a stir, don’t cause a commotion, don’t cause a scene because of your current situation and economic status, but he says to keep quiet. Live at peace. In your context, this means that it is right to plan for your future as well as in your faith. God wants you to grow up in him.
Next, Paul takes a slightly different angle and says to mind your own affairs. This means to mind your own business. It means to not meddle in other people’s business. It means to be concerned with what God has called you to do. The Thessalonians who weren’t working, they were being idle – not doing anything with their time. They were being busybodies and messing around with other people, getting in the way of their work. Paul says to stay on track, and to not get distracted, and to have focus.
Finally, Paul makes it clear to work with your hands. He means to earn your living. To do honest work. Paul himself was a tentmaker by trade. When we work with our hands, we show that we are dependent on the Lord to provide our jobs for us – we are not dependent on others. On a deeper level, it also means to put in the work – to not rush to riches. Don’t be lazy. This is the Christian work ethic. All of this shows the watching world how Christians contribute to society, doing honest work and doing it well.
Paul gives a more practical reason for why Christians work in his letter to the Ephesians, and this is how I want to challenge you to apply this sermon:
Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. (Ephesians 4:28)
Application
So, will you work to spend on others?
One of the biggest lies that Satan has infected the world with is that money is all that matters. That is not true. Money definitely matters, but it’s not all that matters. Money is not ultimate. God is ultimate. And God says that money is a means – a way that he provides for his people and a way that we can bless others. Money is to share, not to hoard.
Now there are many ways you can share your money, but the Bible is clear that we should have something to share with those in need – to those who are needy. God has always had a heart for the weak and vulnerable, widows and orphans being a standard example. Adoption and fostering, as well as mercy ministries to those with disabilities should be championed in the church. When you have an income, you should learn to budget and be generous and not be stingy with your money, but to give it to God.
Working to spend on others does not just apply to your money. There is a war for your attention, and your phone is one of the battlefields. Screen addiction is a problem. It is digital distraction. It causes us to be lazy, to not be able to focus, and to not be wise with how we spend our time. A practical example for you as students would be to use your study time responsibly. Use your time to study hard so you can have more time to share with others at church. Use your time to study hard so you can have more time doing your devotions and reading God’s word – and it impacts you so you bless others because it has changed your attitude, your mind, your heart.
Give your attention to God’s people. This happens by attending and serving in church. Some of you have been faithfully coming to church. Don’t let it stop just because you’re getting older or life gets busier. Maybe some things do need your attention. But learn to give your primary attention to God. Some of you have spent your summer at YSMP and VBS. Don’t let it stop there. Continue to discover your gifts and talents and give your attention to doing the work of the Lord.
Let me give you an example and illustration from my own life. One of my favorite things to do is to mindlessly scroll on Disney+. I can do this for a long time, getting lost in the content. What gets me to stop doing this is to see my family in front of me. To see that I’m actually missing out on something good and better. We need to get our eyes off the screen and see the reality God has put in front of us. God has given us a world not just to passively observe, but to faithfully participate in. And as we actively, intentionally, purposefully live in the world God has given us, remember: the world is watching.
The Gospel
Walking properly before outsiders is impossible to do by our own strength. It must stem from a heart that has been transformed by the gospel. We are not Christians because we do good works. Rather, we do good works because we have been made new, created in Christ:
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:10)
Jesus did not only show us the perfect way to walk; He walked perfectly in our place, died for our sins, and rose again so that we could be made new. Admit you are a sinner, believe that Jesus is the son of God who died on the cross for your sins, and confess him as the resurrected king over your life. The way you love and the way you live will be witnessed by the world as a testimony to God’s work in your heart.
Big Idea
Christians witness to the world by the way we love and the way we live.
Conclusion
You can tell someone is a Christian because the way they love and the way they live is consistent with the character of Christ. The Bible actually says Christians do wear something—not tee shirts, bracelets, or jewelry—but Christ himself:
"1 Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called … 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:1, 22-24)
On your first day back at school, I pray that you will put on Christ. Being a Christian isn't about wearing a brand—it's about belonging to Christ, who purchased us with His blood. He is coming again soon. And until that day his return, the world is watching. Let’s represent him well – with how we love and how we live.
How I Love and How I Live
To the tune of Nothing but the Blood of Jesus:
How I love and how I live
Knowing that the world is watching
Shows how great my savior is
And his precious blood has bought me
God, give me grace to love
God, give me strength to live and
Walk in your ways, like this:
Just as Christ has shown and taught me
Just as Christ has shown and taught me
References
The ESV Expository Commentary by Crossway
The ESV Study Bible by Crossway
The Gospel Coalition Bible Commentary on 1 Thessalonians by David W. Chapma